I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
