and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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