you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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