Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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