Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
