I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
