What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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