I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
