He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
