woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize