I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
