I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just tell him i said nine months
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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