Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
