it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize