Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
that's an acceptable place to lick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
