hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
