it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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