Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
