That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
