I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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