Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
