A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize