Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
