Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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