I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
