I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
