Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
