Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
