I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
