AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
