Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
