we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
