I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need water and some morals
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
