at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
