it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize