I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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