Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
