I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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