In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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