literally had 100 drinks last night.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
