i wish peter jackson would direct porn
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
