that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
