I'm so fucking centered right now
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We are two peas in an std pod
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
