Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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