True but thats because hes a fetus.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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