she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
