dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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