I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you still have your period?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
