I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The beer is more important than you right now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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