i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
