i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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