found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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