I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
