i dont even know how to be here
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
