Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
