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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm there.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night

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• (916): View more from California

  Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco

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• (813): View more from Florida

  How many fucks given?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  0.12846

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• (406): View more from Montana

  We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.

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