I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize